just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
