i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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