He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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