try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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