He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
