if you like me you must not know who I am
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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