One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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