That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
