it hurts more in the daytime
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
