We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The adults are the big ones right?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
