At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
