i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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