my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
