Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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