idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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