Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
