Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize