Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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