i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude i'm inner monologue high
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
