I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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