If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
