you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
