Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
