She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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