i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
