It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
