BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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