Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
