I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
