Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
