So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
