i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
