can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
