my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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