Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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