So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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