tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
