I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
