I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
