No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
