I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
last night I used snow as a chaser
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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