so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
