Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
