I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
