somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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