Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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