kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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