My first STD was from a foam party
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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