Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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