help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
