Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
